A Season

I was accused recently of only writing about the good stuff on my blog... Never including the real, down and dirty, day to day, gritty life of a mom of three.  Well, I suppose it's time.  So, sit down, strap on your belts, and get ready for a ride.  This one's gonna take a while....

Just the other day I walked into Jason's office and huffed, "Everywhere you look in our home, there's evidence of children!"  Jason's response was his usual off the cuff remark, "I know... So why do we keep having them??" 

For the last five years, my wake up time every day has shifted anywhere from 5:15 am to 6:15 am.  I've changed from a night owl to a not-so-much-as-a-choice-in-the-matter morning person.  From the moment I awake, I begin my day often times battling a tearful toddler.  Step One:  warm the milk... Not happy??  Is it the wrong cup again? So sorry... Oh, you don't want me to sit down while I give you the milk?  My bad, I'll stand... Oh, you don't really want that after all... I'll just sit then.  No, not your cup of tea?  How 'bout I just put you on the ground to get out your "thing" and we'll pick back up where we left off once you've calmed down.  Fast forward ten minutes... Ok then, we happy now?  Oops.. Too soon.  I'll just leave you be and set the milk here on the floor in case you change your mind.   Ahhhh... Go ahead, grab that thing like you're the boss... Because you are... For now.

So, I have a toddler that can't talk.  This brings a whole host of aggravations, the least of which is mentioned above.  She also can't control any emotions that come her way.  She's learning, but I know good and well that could take 2 years.  I've had practice.

There are two others... One who is pushing the boundaries with respect.  Once I think we've gotten over that hill, we roll down only to look up and see another giant hill standing in our way.  Another who, at the slightest hint of any ache or pain, will soak it up for all it's worth.  Some days... Nay, many days I haven't got it in me to care two hoots about the pin-point sized boo-boo on her little toe.  Doesn't sound like a big deal... But the constant whining is enough to make ya want to lock yourself in the bathroom and never come out.

Once the youngest began "talking" (that is making noise), the other two seemed to just have gotten louder.  There's another to compete with air time.... I'm dreading the day when all four of them can speak.  I am seriously considering investing in ear plugs.

Speaking of ear plugs... I seem to have a constant ringing in my ears.  This wasn't there before I had kids (one in particular).  But now, I seriously have trouble hearing in restaurants or crowded places... There are a few of my sweet soft-spoken friends that when we're talking, I just nod and pretend like I know what they are saying.  It-is-that-bad. 

Back to the noise.  Have you ever met a person who asks a zillion questions... And doesn't even give you the time to respond?  Welcome to my life... on a daily, minutely basis.  And the questions, seriously?  Here, see for yourself.  "Mom, are you pouring milk into a glass?"  "Mmm-hmm."  "Why?"  "To drink."  "Why are you drinking milk?" "Because I like it." "Why do you like milk?"  AHHHHHHH!!!!!  Does this strike you as frustrating?  Probably not, because I'm only allowing you a glimpse into a single minute of my life.  Imagine this ALL   DAY   LONG!  And yes, this is a true conversation had not too long ago.

When I'm making dinner, or trying to accomplish anything for that matter, I have one clinging (literally) to my leg, another walking behind me on my heals, "Mom, what are you doin'?" and another singing SO loudly (again, the ringing) while walking in FRONT of me at the slowest pace humanly possible.  If it's not that, it's "Moomm!!!!"  "Mooooooooommmm!!!!" "MOOOOOOMMMMM!!!"  every 15 seconds while I'm typing an email, folding laundry, vacuuming, peeing (love that one), changing a diaper, washing floors... Anything!  Everything I do seriously gets interrupted at least 12 times before I give up and put it off until everyone's in bed. 

The rambling could go on for some time, but I think that may be enough to show that my life is far from perfect.  My girls are far from ideal.  It's a constant struggle... especially during this season in my life.  But, I do remind myself every night when my aching head hits the pillow that it is only a season.  There will come a time when I will wish that my girls asked me questions, or talk to me for that matter... When I long for little hands to cling to me...  When I would want the pace of their lives to slow back down to the days when we moved at a sloth's pace...  When crying over minuscule-sized boo-boos was the biggest hurt in their lives... When the ringing in my ear was from a baby's cry and not my own as I allow them to make difficult decisions that I wouldn't have made for them, myself.

This is the season I will long for yet again.