Split Second Thinking

We all have those thoughts... Those that occur in a split second only for you to realize reality.  You know what I'm talking about, I'm sure.  Like sometimes when you wake up after a nap wondering for just a split second, "What day is it?"

Well, it seems I've been having those a lot more often lately.  And they only last for nanoseconds, but they are there, nonetheless.  In moments of gathering the children together, I think, "Four? Only four? Who's missing?" And it feels strange because all in that split second I count them, "Ella, Hannah, Gracyn, Kaden... Someone's missing!"  My mind can't comprehend who, though.

Then it occurs to me; my heart holds five. It's only natural that my hands and my eyes should, too.  Some days it feels like I'm completely losing my mind when I can't find my fifth child.

I know.  I know.  It sounds absurd.  But, it's real.  It's true.  For a split second she was born alive and well.